During the next few days, I found it better to ignore my husband. He was in one those "moods" again, of course after that discussion at breakfast. He appeared to like it that I ignored him, because I still haven't seen him.
But I still wonder. Why on earth did he behave so oddly then? What was it about his back story that was so terrible and sad? There's no point in asking him, since he just goes nearly insane about it, and none of the servants entirely remember. I guess I'll have to find out on my own. Oh, this will be very exciting! There isn't much to do around this big castle anyway.
I started off by doing what I do best. Reading. I poured my little soul like a mad man over the library, looking for journals, history records, anything! I read nearly every title on every spine and skimmed through any book with no titles. There seemed to be nothing on Beast's family or even the castle. This family must not have been good record keepers (and still so now). But eventually I found at least one book stated An overview of The Rose, which I knew must be this castle. And so, there I sat in the library, reading away at this book. It was quite boring at first, being about the history of the royalty that lived here. But near the end (why didn't I think of skipping to the end?) I think I found something about his parents. It seemed very sweet. His parents must have been very lovely people. Reading on, I laughed. Beast's mother delivered him in the rose garden. What a coincidence! Perhaps I'll find a time to bring that up to him. Although it did bother me that his name wasn't mentioned in the story. Why would that be?
But the story went from sweet to sour. Apparently, a war had broken loose long ago by some gang of murderers. Not many people new because the war was fought with stratagem and the forest surrounding the kingdom kept most of it unknown to other people outside. It reads on here:
...There has been a great loss over by city of Amien. Most of the kings men have been slain, and the kingdom has resorted to drafting men from old to young to help fight back these horrible cut-throats. Our beloved King Henry grows weak with worry...
...There will be no fighting today.
King Henry has died at the throne, along with several servants. No one can explain why or how. Only that his heir survives the event. In terrible mourning the kingdom cries with loss. But our dear, wonderful Queen, Catherine stood as if to face her kingdom and cried "do not fear my beloveds! Let us not weep for long! We have work to do here, and Henry would not desire for us to mourn and give up! Come now, let us prepare for greater trials!"
It was later agreed that the welfare of Henry's son was too great to risk. Catherine has sent him to live with the fairy in the Meadow Swamp while she tries to defend her kingdom. We hope the fairy will be of great protection to him.
There was no more writings. The writer must have been to busy with the war to make anymore records. I can only imagine what it must have been like to grow up in a war. Not only that but also be sent to a strange fairy that you've never met. The fairy must have been kindly, otherwise he wouldn't have been sent there.
But this still doesn't answer all of my questions. How exactly did Beast assume such a hideous shape for so long. Why did the evil fairy do it to him?
While I was sitting in my stupor in the library, Elle, one of the maids came by.
"May I inquire what you are doing, My lady?"
Elle! Just the right lady to come by. She might know some secrets. She's terrible at keeping them in.
"Oh, I'm only searching about and reading is all," I answered smoothly.
"What are you searching for?" she asked after some thought.
"Not much really, I just want to know more about this castle, but I'm not finding any luck in this library."
Elle gave a shaky comment and started dusting the books. She glanced at me once with an essence of knowing something, but keeping it "hush hush."
I knew it. I knew she would have something to tell. So carefully thinking, I played along.
"If only there was another place were better records were kept. Maybe even a few journals."
Elle seemed to just want to burst with the desire to tell.
"Well, maybe you could look in the attic."
"The attic?" I replied, surprised. I wasn't playing along anymore. Did we really have an attic?
Elle told me that there was an entrance in the Study. It's were all of the real records and journals are kept. The book I was reading was written by servants.
Now I maybe I can get to the bottom of this mystery! Hurriedly, I thanked Elle--tumbling over my words a little bit--and sped off to the proposed attic...
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
We both have our trials
January, 16
Has one never desired to live a simple life as I have? I was once only a merchant's daughter and suddenly now, I'm a princess. And being a princess, I realize now, is difficult. Especially with a husband such as Beast. At least, though I do not rule anything more than our courtyard of roses. It seems queer to have a random castle in the middle of the forest with no kingdom to rule. Not that I am concerned or anything. I'm not sure if I could handle all the burdens of many people living all around our castle. And so, I suppose not having to rule anything has helped us quite a lot.
I once went to my husband and asked him "Beast, if you're a prince, do you know how to rule a country?"
With little thought, though certainly not entirely pleased with the answer he said, " Actually, I barely know a thing about even being a prince besides good manners and wealthiness."
I was a bit shocked to hear it, but at least I am comforted. Now it seems there is not much worry anymore about being a princess. I've often thought to myself that I am simply wealthy. I know how to live like a wealthy girl.
Now what am I doing rambling about nonsense? My apologies, I often think as I write, and write my own thoughts down in the process. Though, I believe wanting a simpler life is relevant. I'm living now with a man who still seems lost at whether he is still a beast or not. Often times, when things upset him, he grumbles to himself until they turn into hissing and it shakes the whole castle with an uneasy chill. I've heard almost every strange noise capable to erupt from a man, all from only my husband.
What is worse is that he doesn't even think that what he does is strange until I have to tell him. That poor thing. He always feels terrible sorry for making me feel uncomfortable. I wish I could do something about it.
During our breakfast today, I brought up our concern ( the servants and I) of his odd behaviors to Beast. He seemed unhappy to be told this, and he only looked at his food for a while, until he finally looked up and answered.
"Yes, you are very right, Beauty. I am oddly unacquainted with the proper mannerism of every man. Would it be possible that you could remind of all the things I must do?"
I thought at first, how easy this would be. I could tell him everything he does. But how could that change anything? Even though he did act strange and...well...beastly, he still had the wonderful kindness and manners that any man should. And with his personality even a little better. And his odd changes are so infrequent and normally unpredictable. I understand that he may not even be able to help it when he does those things.
"No, I suppose I cannot," I said after a long while. "It seems, I will have to correct you when it ever happens. Would that be alright with you?"
He nodded in agreement and we resumed to dine, until a question gathered up inside of me and it itched so much that I just had to ask him.
"Beast?" I asked
"Yes, Beauty?" He replied
"When did the bad fairy come knocking at your door so long ago?"
I felt a little guilty after I said this, for his countenance changed from sweetness to pain. The memory he was recollecting seemed to trouble him very much, like he just wanted to forget it. He grimaced and ran his and through his hair and sighed, trying to pinpoint a time.
"Well, I think I was still very young then. I think I was about twelve-years old when it happened--"
"Twelve!"
He replied with a lowly sigh. No wonder he was holding on to his habits for so long! He so still young and learning to begin with. What a burden to be living with such a shape for so long. Twelve? How could a boy be mean and prideful at such a young and naive age.
"I thought you said you were a mean and prideful prince once, Beast?" I asked knowing now that there must be somethings he has not told me straight off.
"I was," He replied, " I used to put tacks on my fathers chair before he sat down and I never wanted to were those silly outfits that my maid made me put on."
"But those are the simple mischief's of childhood. That cannot certainly be the only reason to--what--happened--to you. Why did a fairy come to your door anyw--"
At mentioning the fairy, Beast suddenly through the tray of food from before him with a snarl of shear anger (when you live with him for a while you learn to understand the meanings of his noises). He was standing now, his fists balled and his face red, nearly to tears. He stood up so fast I didn't even realize that he even made the action to. I knew what he'd done and I wanted to remind him, but he seemed so angry. I was much too scared to think of what to do but just stare at him in awe.
Then he growled and rushed away like a serpent. He locked himself up in the study for the rest of the day.
When something like that happens to you so early in your day, it feels like you've done nothing but build up a great many questions that you're too scared to ask.
Has one never desired to live a simple life as I have? I was once only a merchant's daughter and suddenly now, I'm a princess. And being a princess, I realize now, is difficult. Especially with a husband such as Beast. At least, though I do not rule anything more than our courtyard of roses. It seems queer to have a random castle in the middle of the forest with no kingdom to rule. Not that I am concerned or anything. I'm not sure if I could handle all the burdens of many people living all around our castle. And so, I suppose not having to rule anything has helped us quite a lot.
I once went to my husband and asked him "Beast, if you're a prince, do you know how to rule a country?"
With little thought, though certainly not entirely pleased with the answer he said, " Actually, I barely know a thing about even being a prince besides good manners and wealthiness."
I was a bit shocked to hear it, but at least I am comforted. Now it seems there is not much worry anymore about being a princess. I've often thought to myself that I am simply wealthy. I know how to live like a wealthy girl.
Now what am I doing rambling about nonsense? My apologies, I often think as I write, and write my own thoughts down in the process. Though, I believe wanting a simpler life is relevant. I'm living now with a man who still seems lost at whether he is still a beast or not. Often times, when things upset him, he grumbles to himself until they turn into hissing and it shakes the whole castle with an uneasy chill. I've heard almost every strange noise capable to erupt from a man, all from only my husband.
What is worse is that he doesn't even think that what he does is strange until I have to tell him. That poor thing. He always feels terrible sorry for making me feel uncomfortable. I wish I could do something about it.
During our breakfast today, I brought up our concern ( the servants and I) of his odd behaviors to Beast. He seemed unhappy to be told this, and he only looked at his food for a while, until he finally looked up and answered.
"Yes, you are very right, Beauty. I am oddly unacquainted with the proper mannerism of every man. Would it be possible that you could remind of all the things I must do?"
I thought at first, how easy this would be. I could tell him everything he does. But how could that change anything? Even though he did act strange and...well...beastly, he still had the wonderful kindness and manners that any man should. And with his personality even a little better. And his odd changes are so infrequent and normally unpredictable. I understand that he may not even be able to help it when he does those things.
"No, I suppose I cannot," I said after a long while. "It seems, I will have to correct you when it ever happens. Would that be alright with you?"
He nodded in agreement and we resumed to dine, until a question gathered up inside of me and it itched so much that I just had to ask him.
"Beast?" I asked
"Yes, Beauty?" He replied
"When did the bad fairy come knocking at your door so long ago?"
I felt a little guilty after I said this, for his countenance changed from sweetness to pain. The memory he was recollecting seemed to trouble him very much, like he just wanted to forget it. He grimaced and ran his and through his hair and sighed, trying to pinpoint a time.
"Well, I think I was still very young then. I think I was about twelve-years old when it happened--"
"Twelve!"
He replied with a lowly sigh. No wonder he was holding on to his habits for so long! He so still young and learning to begin with. What a burden to be living with such a shape for so long. Twelve? How could a boy be mean and prideful at such a young and naive age.
"I thought you said you were a mean and prideful prince once, Beast?" I asked knowing now that there must be somethings he has not told me straight off.
"I was," He replied, " I used to put tacks on my fathers chair before he sat down and I never wanted to were those silly outfits that my maid made me put on."
"But those are the simple mischief's of childhood. That cannot certainly be the only reason to--what--happened--to you. Why did a fairy come to your door anyw--"
At mentioning the fairy, Beast suddenly through the tray of food from before him with a snarl of shear anger (when you live with him for a while you learn to understand the meanings of his noises). He was standing now, his fists balled and his face red, nearly to tears. He stood up so fast I didn't even realize that he even made the action to. I knew what he'd done and I wanted to remind him, but he seemed so angry. I was much too scared to think of what to do but just stare at him in awe.
Then he growled and rushed away like a serpent. He locked himself up in the study for the rest of the day.
When something like that happens to you so early in your day, it feels like you've done nothing but build up a great many questions that you're too scared to ask.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Before our epilogue begins...
Before you, my most beloved readers, get to laugh, cry, cry tears of laughing or gasp in sympathy towards Beauty, allow me to remind you that this story will not be based off of the Disney movie of Beauty and the Beast (they ruin almost everything wonderful). This story will be from the wonderful, and original, french fairytale itself. You might wonder why Beauty does or does not mention certain things. In that case you must look up the real story yourself. But lets not ravel in nonsense shall we? Let us continue with admiration for our favorite characters with a new light.
But first, I shall recount the ending of the original story that Beauty witnessed herself:
"My heart was crushed, slaughtered, sank, and anything that can happen to a poor and lowly heart when death is before it. My poor beast lie at my feet nearly dead, and I was about to watch the 'nearly' be drained out of him. If only I had known how much I truly loved him! He may not have been handsome, but he was sweet and loving and everything I ever wanted for a husband.
I fell upon him with much sorrow, which wasn't a very long fall, and cried "Oh, Beast, I do love you, I really do. I will take you for husband, I will live forever in this castle for you, I will promise never to even think about my poor father ever again, just so that I may be with you for ever and ever!"
As I wept on my poor dying friend, the castle had suddenly become extremely warm. Almost blistering hot. I may have been grieving, but the loud crash and the end of the hall did indeed get my attention. I turned to see that the entire castle was erupting like fireworks! I saw every color I had ever known and some colors quite new to me. It was magnificent, but it was scary. I assumed that the castle was losing its magic and it was falling apart. Fine then. Let it take me along with its master and my beloved.
I knelt down and closed my eyes, awaiting for my fate to take me. But the explosions stopped. And I was still kneeling there. Had I died a painless death? I dared to open my eyes and it seemed I wasn't dead after all. But the castle had taken a dramatic change. It was bright and beautiful with angels for statues and the carpets and rugs were all fashioned like roses! I had never known that they were there before.
Oh, how could I forget my Beast! I turned to him suddenly, but he was not there. I saw a handsome young man laying before me in fine clothes that seemed very much too large for him. He opened his eyes and looked around excitedly. His eye darted form place to place in the garden until they fell upon his hand. Then he gasped and felt it as if he had never had a hand before.
I was glad that this man had his hand back, but I was so confused as to were Beast had gone. This made me cry again. The man then made a sudden look at me and smiled.
"Where is my beast!" I cried "and who are you and where is my beast!"
I tried to get up and run from him, for he really scared me, but he grabbed my arm saying "Beauty, do you not see it in my eyes? It is me. I am your beast!"
"That cannot be!" I argued in the politest way I could.
"Oh, but it is. I was a prince once, Beauty, a mean and prideful prince. I was cursed when I refused a women to come inside my castle, little did I know she was a wicked fairy. She cursed me so that I may be a monster for the rest of my life, unless a beautiful virgin were to fall in love with me and forget my hideousness."
I realized now, that this really was my beast. Not for what he said, but for his personality. I know it from anywhere.
He laughed.
I had never heard him laughed before and he scared me even more and so I tried to run away again, but he lifted me from my feet so I could do nothing about it. I was too petrified to do anything and so I let him carry me into the ball room, where sudden a beautiful tall lady stood in the middle if it all. And she had fairy wings!
"A fairy!" I gasped!
"Yes," Said Beast nuzzling his nose to mine, which I found a bit strange for a man to do. I never had a courting man give me affection like that...."
Okay, I'll stop there, if I keeping going it will get a little silly. But you see, those final sentences will shape the rest of Beauty's diary. I hope you all enjoy!
But first, I shall recount the ending of the original story that Beauty witnessed herself:
"My heart was crushed, slaughtered, sank, and anything that can happen to a poor and lowly heart when death is before it. My poor beast lie at my feet nearly dead, and I was about to watch the 'nearly' be drained out of him. If only I had known how much I truly loved him! He may not have been handsome, but he was sweet and loving and everything I ever wanted for a husband.
I fell upon him with much sorrow, which wasn't a very long fall, and cried "Oh, Beast, I do love you, I really do. I will take you for husband, I will live forever in this castle for you, I will promise never to even think about my poor father ever again, just so that I may be with you for ever and ever!"
As I wept on my poor dying friend, the castle had suddenly become extremely warm. Almost blistering hot. I may have been grieving, but the loud crash and the end of the hall did indeed get my attention. I turned to see that the entire castle was erupting like fireworks! I saw every color I had ever known and some colors quite new to me. It was magnificent, but it was scary. I assumed that the castle was losing its magic and it was falling apart. Fine then. Let it take me along with its master and my beloved.
I knelt down and closed my eyes, awaiting for my fate to take me. But the explosions stopped. And I was still kneeling there. Had I died a painless death? I dared to open my eyes and it seemed I wasn't dead after all. But the castle had taken a dramatic change. It was bright and beautiful with angels for statues and the carpets and rugs were all fashioned like roses! I had never known that they were there before.
Oh, how could I forget my Beast! I turned to him suddenly, but he was not there. I saw a handsome young man laying before me in fine clothes that seemed very much too large for him. He opened his eyes and looked around excitedly. His eye darted form place to place in the garden until they fell upon his hand. Then he gasped and felt it as if he had never had a hand before.
I was glad that this man had his hand back, but I was so confused as to were Beast had gone. This made me cry again. The man then made a sudden look at me and smiled.
"Where is my beast!" I cried "and who are you and where is my beast!"
I tried to get up and run from him, for he really scared me, but he grabbed my arm saying "Beauty, do you not see it in my eyes? It is me. I am your beast!"
"That cannot be!" I argued in the politest way I could.
"Oh, but it is. I was a prince once, Beauty, a mean and prideful prince. I was cursed when I refused a women to come inside my castle, little did I know she was a wicked fairy. She cursed me so that I may be a monster for the rest of my life, unless a beautiful virgin were to fall in love with me and forget my hideousness."
I realized now, that this really was my beast. Not for what he said, but for his personality. I know it from anywhere.
He laughed.
I had never heard him laughed before and he scared me even more and so I tried to run away again, but he lifted me from my feet so I could do nothing about it. I was too petrified to do anything and so I let him carry me into the ball room, where sudden a beautiful tall lady stood in the middle if it all. And she had fairy wings!
"A fairy!" I gasped!
"Yes," Said Beast nuzzling his nose to mine, which I found a bit strange for a man to do. I never had a courting man give me affection like that...."
Okay, I'll stop there, if I keeping going it will get a little silly. But you see, those final sentences will shape the rest of Beauty's diary. I hope you all enjoy!
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